guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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