Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
