I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
