it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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