theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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