i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
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