I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
