O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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