just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
