I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I cut my penus on the lid.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
