I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Randomize
