I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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