MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
