And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
