cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
