OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
