Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
