She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
