i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
