I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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