There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
