Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
