You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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