Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
bring money and cleavage
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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