Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
