yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
