I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
