it was like his penis was on wheels.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize