I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Randomize
