She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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