When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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