I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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