Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
