Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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