I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Everything about him screamed your future.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
