I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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