I'm jealous of your bromance
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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