i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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