Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
