He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
