his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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