i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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