dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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