she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
