omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
