I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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