He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
