Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
