lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
