how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you would pick up someone in the library
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
