We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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