At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
