I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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