it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
